You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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