Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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