come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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