help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize