her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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