it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize