OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
