Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
