would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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