Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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