They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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