She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
