Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
