I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
