And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
