I hate all girls vehemently.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
