She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
