If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
