Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
