Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
