He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
