i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Terrible idea I love it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
