Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
