I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize