i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize