Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
