I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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