Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
