also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
