Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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