dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
