It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He passed out mid-signature
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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