If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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