Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
