belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
