You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
