I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize