i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
