he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize