Porn is love you can see.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize