my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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