I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
