dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
