your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
