can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
