How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
