I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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