i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
