Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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