You really coming over, don't trick.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
