well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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