can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
