Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
