She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
