There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
