you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize