Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
