Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
