your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
