just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
